Ugly Love Book Review

**This blog contains major spoilers for Colleen Hoover's novel Ugly Love.**

    Maybe it's just me, but it seems as though everyone is obsessed with Colleen Hoover these days. Well, more specifically, everyone is obsessed with one book: Ugly Love, the horribly messy tangle of love story about would-be nurse Tate Collins and pilot Miles Archer, published in 2014. So obsessed, in fact, that when I went to the library to borrow the book of everyone's aforesaid obsession, I was received with 0 copies onsite and 65 requests. 

    Yup. 65 requests. I'll let that process for a moment. But I am not one to be defeated -- trust and believe, dear reader, 65 requests at Champaign Public Library have nothing on me. Therefore, I went to the Urbana library, and guess what I was destined to find there? 

    That's right. Zero copies. 

    So after I got over the immense shock of zero copies and 65 requests for a single book in two libraries, I could do nothing but place a request myself. After a month and a half of much waiting, pacing, and wondering what all the hype around Colleen Hoover was about, I finally got the book, and it would be an understatement to say I had great expectations. (All the while, I kept going back to the "Hoover" section of the library, and I found absolutely zilch but Maybe Someday, which I read in a matter of minutes. I was very dedicated to discovering why her books were supposedly so good, as you'll see.) Anyway, I requested Ugly Love at the beginning of October, and it came to me by November 21. As in this Monday. As in literally three days ago.

    I thought that was pretty impressive for any book. Any author that's accomplished 65 requests for a single book eight years since publication should consider herself the next J.K. Rowling! I mean, I aspire for my would-be book to be completely devoid in every single library within a hundred miles and for hordes of teenagers to wait months to read it. (Ahem, me.) I tried to read with zero expectations, because books have a serious way of disappointing me, but how could I not expect something great from Ugly Love? 65 requests, nearly two months of waiting -- Miles' and Tate's love better be the next Love Story, or this was all for nothing. 

    So, as I started Ugly Love, I was catapulted into the messy business of love -- or, in this book, the lack thereof. During the time it took me to read the the 322 pages, I went as far as nearly throwing the book across the room, yelling obscenities at Miles Archer, complaining loudly to whoever would listen, questioning my entire existence, and bursting into tears at the very end. What started off as an innocent love story ended up mending my boring, 9th-grader existence; and, frankly, now I understand what all the hype around the book is about. I have a hard time admitting that people are better at anything than me, much less writing, but I suppose I have to admit it: Colleen Hoover is a good author. Ugly Love was really, really good.

    This really, really good book that has earned my official Stamp of Approval commences with Tate Collins moving to Los Angeles to stay with her brother, Corbin, while she finds a nursing job in the area. Tate is just out of college and seeking her Master's in Nursing. When she gets to Corbin's apartment building, she finds a completely wasted guy passed out in front of his door; Corbin isn't at home, since he's a pilot, and he instructs her to go get Miles. Who's Miles? Well, her next door neighbor, also known as the drunk kid collapsed outside of Corbin's door. So Tate lets him in, because what else can she do; she tends to him; he sleeps on the couch; and as he's unconscious, he keeps crying and murmuring things about Rachel. "I'm sorry, Rachel." "I didn't mean it." "It's my fault." "I love you." We readers don't know who Rachel is yet, and nor does Tate, so she just surmises it to a relationship gone wrong and leaves to go to sleep. 

    When Tate wakes up in the morning, Miles is sober, and remembers all but nothing about last night's events. Corbin is back home, and Tate meets the real Miles, not the drunk one: quiet, shuttered, lonely, and brooding. He is gorgeous, though, as she observes, but she's too aware that he's just not into her. He doesn't seem to be into anyone -- or, moreover, anything. When she visits his apartment, she notices that it's completely bland, devoid of any personality or care. He isn't very deep or introspective, and him speaking a sentence more than five words is the eighth Wonder of the World. Additionally, he is a pilot, like her brother and father, and as he goes about his day-to-day life, Tate just assumes that something went horribly wrong in his past. And she's certain it has something to do with Rachel. 

    She's not wrong; the book has little flashbacks of Miles' past throughout, with centered text and written like a poem, alternating with Tate's chapters in the present. As the book progresses, we experience Miles' and Tate's relationship in the present, while Miles' and Rachel's relationship expands in the past. Hoover doesn't outright tell readers what happened to Miles until the very end, which is what made me adore this book; she slowly builds up to it, which is very excruciating, and it starts with Rachel. On the first day of senior year, Miles meets Rachel, who has just moved from Phoenix; it would be an understatement to say that he falls in love. Miles contemplates asking her out from afar, wondering what she would say, until one day his dad reveals that he's planning on getting married again ... to Rachel's mom. 

    This is one of the points where I had to put Ugly Love down to take a quick little scream. Why did she have to do this to me? I ask you, Colleen Hoover, WHY? WHY MUST YOU DO THIS?!?!? It's not Miles' fault! He didn't do anything! He was about to date Rachel! As if to pour salt on the wound, Colleen Hoover dug the grave a little deeper; Miles started dating Rachel, albeit the little detail about their parents' engagement. They both agreed that while dating is kinda gross and ridiculous and, well, gross, it's not disgusting until their parents are married. Sure, they will be step-siblings, but they plan on breaking up before going to college. It'll work out!

    Riiiiiiiiiiight. And work out it does.

    Anyway, in the present, Miles, Tate, and Corbin visit the Collins' home for Thanksgiving. All throughout the drive there, Tate catches Miles staring at her in the driver's mirror multiple times, and she ignores it; after all, Miles is weird. And quiet. (And gorgeous.) Once they get to Tate and Corbin's parents' home, there are many awkward moments between Tate and Miles, and as she's bandaging Miles' hand in the bathroom on Thanksgiving because he nearly broke it -- long story -- he kisses her. Completely out of the blue. Completely randomly. Completely unwarranted. And she is beyond herself. Miles kissed her! MILES. KISSED. HER. But their really sweet moment ends as abruptly as it had started; Miles apologizes, says he shouldn't have done "that," and leaves. And Tate doesn't know what to think.

   That evening at Thanksgiving dinner, Corbin reveals that Miles hasn't had a girlfriend for six years, so he's been single. (I was calculating at this point: Miles met Rachel at the beginning of his senior year, meaning he was 17. He's 24 now; 24 minus six is 18. So he must have stayed with Rachel until the end of senior year and into college, and then something must have happened for them to break up, something so bad that he hasn't looked at another girl for six years.) Tate is smart, though. She's a nurse. Miles is surrounded by what seems like red flags, as she observes, and he's really not worth it. But that night, she can't sleep, and she knows for a fact that Miles is awake. She walks out into the kitchen, and he's there. Tate carpe diems the opportunity to ask Miles about a variety of things, including his six-year-old single-ness, but Miles stops her. He admits, in one of his first non-five-word sentences in the novel, that he is attracted to her. He's been scarred by love in the past -- HA! Something to do with Rachel, Tate thinks -- but he's attracted to Tate. He wants to be with her ... without the love stuff. He wants a completely no-strings-attached friends-with-benefits type of relationship with no prospect of love to come. Zero of the I love you's or happiness or flowers or expensive chocolates; just the physical part. Like I said, red flags, but Tate is intrigued. She agrees. 

    So Miles and Tate start their relationship, as long as Tate can follow two rules: don't ask about the past, and don't expect a future. That means that there's no chance of Tate getting to know Miles or building a home with him or becoming his girlfriend in any way; their relationship will be a loveless, sad arrangement with only the physicality involved. (I don't know about you, dear reader, but that sounds kinda shady to me.)

    In the past, Rachel and Miles are starting their relationship. Things are going well, or as well as you can expect a secret affair between two would-be step-siblings to go. They are happy; until Rachel gets pregnant while their parents are in Vegas. (This was another time I had to stop reading to take a quick screaming break. What were you thinking, Colleen Hoover? WHY?) As if to ruin things further, their parents reveal that they got married in Vegas while away. That means that Rachel and Miles are now legal step-siblings. Which is, well, unfortunate, to say the least. Miles and Rachel try to hide the pregnancy, but things come toppling down soon enough, and then their parents know about everything; the pregnancy, the relationship, the many secrets. The two of them have graduated by now, and Miles received approval to move into the college's family housing, so the pair move out. Rachel has the baby; Miles is a wonderful father; things are back to going well. What could go wrong? 

    In the present, things are spiraling out of control. Tate and Miles have been "dating" for a while now. Tate has fallen in love; she believes that somewhere, beneath all the sadness, Miles has a heart for her too. They share a bunch of sweet moments -- Miles even goes as far as decorating his home for her -- but all the while, he reminds Tate of his rules. No asking about the past; no expecting a future. Just the present. Just the now. Miles is a complex character, and Tate wants to know why, but it's not meant to be. It just isn't. Corbin finds out about their relationship; Miles finds her studying with a guy from her med school and he gets jealous; Tate starts expecting too much from Miles; and it all culminates in Tate packing her stuff up and leaving. She moves out to a different apartment, away from Miles and his drama, because she just can't handle it anymore. He promised a no-strings-attached relationship, and that's what she received, but Miles kept giving her signs that he was falling for her. Or was he? Wasn't he? She doesn't know. She can't know. She and Miles are done, for good, even though he is so sweet. And makes her laugh. And seems to genuinely care about her. 

    One day, Miles had taken her to the lofty pool on top of his and Corbin's apartment. He told Tate that there was no way he could fall in love with her, but if he was to, it would be her. She would be his everything, but she just can't be. And he just can't either; he's just seen the ugly side of love, so much so that he's scared to love again. Tate realized this when he broke down upon her asking about Rachel, and I mean break down in all senses of the word. He started sobbing, akin to the first day they had met, and that creeped her out. For all the right reasons, my friend; red flag after red flag. So Tate moves out, leaving Miles all alone. 

    In the past, Miles and Rachel are driving back from the hospital after having the baby. They are so in love; the baby has repaired their family, as Miles says. Things just couldn't get better! But, alas, Colleen Hoover is an expert at breaking hearts, and she really stomped all over mine with this one. So Miles and Rachel drive back from the hospital, and they meet an accident. The car ends up in a lake. Miles is able to save Rachel, but not the baby, and that marks the end of both their family and Miles' ability to love. Rachel hates Miles; she says that he ought to have saved the baby, not her. Rachel moves back to Phoenix, and from then on, Miles starts nurturing his broken heart for both his baby and ex-girlfriend.

    I started crying at this point. WHY?!? WHY, COLLEEN HOOVER!?!?!?!?! First she constructs a little sweet relationship with Miles and Rachel, with everything going perfectly, only to completely RUIN IT. RIDICULOUS. I HATE HER. I HATE THESE BOOKS. I HATE LOVE. 

    Maybe I cared way too much, but I was heartbroken. I had almost stopped believing in love too at this point. 

    Anyway, to make things worse, Tate left Miles too. So he was pretty much alone, past and present. But, luckily, he still had Corbin and his friend Ian, and Ian is mad. He's known Miles his entire life, and even he thinks Miles ought to get over it. As if to prove that he doesn't have to get over it, Miles visits Rachel, only to discover that she's rather over the loss of their baby. Yeah, it was hard at first, but now she's married and has a baby named Claire. Sadness is a part of life, but happiness is life, Rachel says. And confronting the past is hard, but one has to do it for those they love. Moving on, loving again, getting over stuff -- it's hard, but c'est la vie. (This was really sweet; I almost cried again.) 

   So Miles realizes that he has to move on. He can't spend his entire life brooding. He's found love again in Tate, the only one who seems to genuinely care, and he can't lose that. He rushes to her new apartment and confesses his love and admits everything that happened: Rachel, their baby, and the fact that the day she found him passed out in front of Corbin's apartment was his son's sixth birthday. He says that he will tell her everything about his past, and they'll have a future together, completely breaking both of his rules. He loves her. He. Loves. Her. MILES LOVES TATE. 

    I don't think I'm doing this book justice, but I wasn't crying at this point; I was beyond myself. This was ridiculous. People shouldn't be able to write such sweet books. I mean, I always knew Miles had it in him! Tate stayed with him through everything, and she's the reason he's put back together today. Red flags? Pfft.

    The book ends with a little anecdote from Miles; he describes how he fell in love with Tate, that they're now married and a little boy of their own by now. Miles detailed how hard he tried to not fall in love with Tate, to not be forced to face the past, because he was comfortable. But he says that instead of Tate loving him back to death, she loved him back to life. As he's sitting with his new son and Tate, he realizes that it's the good moments that make up for the ugliness of love, for the unfortunate moments of life. And, my dearest reader, what can I say but I LOVE COLLEEN HOOVER. THIS IS LITERALLY THE BEST BOOK I HAVE EVER READ. 

     And if for some reason you haven't caught on by now, I LOVE THIS BOOK. This is my favorite thing ever. First of all, I love Colleen Hoover's writing; she wrote all the characters so well, from observant Tate to once-brooding Miles, and her writing is funny. A good romance novel is hard to accomplish, but she did it so well! Second of all, the moral is just so sweet. By the end of the book, Miles had realized that you get the bad things in life so you don't take the good things for granted. Love can be hard, sure, but so is life. You can't just spend your entire life not loving and not putting your entire self out there because things didn't go your way in the past. You have to learn to move on! While it may be hard, moving on is essential to life; for those you love and for yourself. Bad things happen to everyone, whether it's a bad test grade or the passing of your newborn, but what truly defines someone is remembering that things get better, because they always do. And, lastly, third of all, the book really makes you feel so invigorated by the end. I was worrying about writing this blog post at the start of this book, because I had no idea what I would write about -- I had even gone as far as to read two pages of Anna Karenina in futility before giving up -- but by the end of Ugly Love, I was, well, in love. I mean, I finished the entire book in a matter of hours! I usually start most books, put them down, contemplate whether I should keep reading, and count the number of pages I have until the end. However, with Ugly Love, I finished the book wanting an epilogue to the epilogue. Maybe I don't have a very diverse book repertoire as of now, but this book made me cry. And scream. And laugh, in spite of myself. I have a general rule when it comes to books: if it made me stop and stare at my wall in amazement, it's a good book. And I stared at my wall multiple times: when Miles and Rachel started dating, when Miles kissed Tate, when Rachel got pregnant, when their baby died, when Miles visited Rachel, when Miles confessed his love. I mean, I practically spent the entire novel staring at my wall. 

    So, dear reader, this was a really, really good book. I approve. I recommend. In fact, I'm not going to return this book for ages to come, so whoever has a request behind me better get used to waiting. I'm going to read Ugly Love back to life. 

- Simrah